Our offsprings’ self esteem is their best line of defense against the harsh world we have today. That is why, early on in their lives, we, as parents, should ensure that we build their concept of independence and self confidence, to make sure that they survive and thrive when they get older. Having our offspring hang on to every word we say and mimic every move we make is cute when they’re three years old.
However, when they turn ten and they’re still copying us and depending on every bit of our opinions to get by in life, it’s not really healthy anymore. Our children will have to learn at some point to stand on their own two feet, otherwise, they will be left behind.
Child psychologists say that keeping too close watches on the offspring is detrimental in the long run because it hampers the child’s ability to develop into his own unique self. Personalities that are stifled because of overbearing and overprotective parents tend to burst out later in their adult life and lead to personality disorders. Surely you don’t want your child to be such a person. Therefore, it is important that you build your offspring’s self esteem and teach him the value of free thinking as early as you can.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to breed destabilizers and rebels. While you need to let go of your offspring and let him make mistakes on his own, you will still need to watch from the sidelines to make sure that he doesn’t stray from his chosen path.
Allow the kid to flourish and grow at his own pace and time. The biggest mistake you can do is to allow him, at first, to choose his path and then make the rest of the decisions and moves for him after. Your child has a mind of his own. He is not your puppet.
Developing self esteem on the offspring is difficult at first, since, as parents, you only want the best for your kid and want to protect him from any kind of disappointment or harm. However, you must acknowledge that failure and pain are inevitable.
At some point in our children’s lives, they will experience pain – and the best thing we can do to prepare them for these kinds of situations is to instill in them the confidence and belief than they can rise above challenges and pick themselves up and try again if they fall.
Our children need to believe that they can achieve things on their own. For instance, when a child messes up the books on the shelf, let him fix the mess by himself and don’t pick up after him.
Teach him that it is his responsibility to put the books back because it was him who made them fall in the first place. Of course, assist him if the task is too huge. However, you must make him believe that he had done everything on his own all along.
Parents who breed kids who are too dependent on them often end up with spoiled brats – who are actually a lot more difficult to tame when they get older.
What we want as parents are offspring who have minds of their own and are able to face any challenge without buckling at the sight of difficulty. Our children’s self esteem is one of the most powerful tools they can use in the fight of life. It is our duty as parents to instill this trait in them.