Both self-esteem and inferiority complex are not acquired through birth. These are developed through time. One’s experiences or interaction with society greatly shapes and determines this.
Some are very fortunate to have been born to families who take pains to seek ways on how to develop self-esteem in their children while most tend to raise their children in the manner that they are raised which is, in most cases, tend to create inferiority complex rather than build self-esteem.
For instance, if a child comes to you with news about a failing grade, the normal reaction would be to raise your voice at them and say something like, “What? That’s what you get for being too lazy to study your lessons!”.
Statements such as these tend to create self-doubts in a child. What we sometimes overlook is the fact that they already feel bad about having a bad grade, they do not need us to drive the point across any further.
Instead, it would be better to ask them what happened and how does the child feel about having low marks. And then ask them what they think they should do so they can get better grades next time.
With this kind of reaction, a parent also encourages the child to decide for themselves what to do and have a sense of control over their lives. These are of course, essential factors to build self-esteem on.
It would also help if we make a habit out of poiting out the good qualitites in people. Accentuating the positive will actually help people bring out that trait more often. There are various tools to help boost a person’s self-esteem. There are various reading materials available online or in bookstores.
It is always good to read up on books that empower people. There are also self-esteem tests available on the net. However, these mostly just give us snap shots of the entire picture. But knowing where we lack are effective tools to make ourselves better people. Self-esteem seminars are also rampant.
People who evaluate a person’s self-esteem do this through self-esteem worksheets. These are effectively a list of questionnaires where one will be asked to rank certain situations from one to five. One being that they strongly disagree to five being that they strongly agree. Some include essay portions where one will be asked to answer a set of questions mostly dealing with one’s self-perception.
Samples of self-esteem worksheets can be downloaded from the following sites:
www.iamaperson.com/ – 21k
www.amazon.com/Balancing-Individual-Organizational-Values-Tightrope/dp/0787957208 – 107k
www.selfesteemplus.com/low-self-esteem.htm – 19k
Just because we have not been blessed with perfect childhoods do not mean we are not entitled to success and happiness. As what Eleonor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Other people’s opinion of us depends on our opinion of ourselves.
If we feel hatred for ourselves, then it will be impossible for the world to love us back. Beginning to love ourselves more can be a long and tedious process but the happiness and contentment we reap once we start to achieve this will be all worth the effort. It does not take much to change the world, only people who are willing to be better individuals.