Many people agree that it is ridiculous to teach people how they should react to specific conditions or simply, to control their emotions.
At first, this really sounds queer. After all, emotions are very subjective mediums of studies. Each one of us has his or her own fashion of dealing things out or reacting to specific stimulus. Even when the test is controlled. Emotions are as diverse as the personalities of human beings. This is because our characters are largely determined by the combinations of emotions that we are associated with.
During our prenatal development, our bodies have developed in specific ways as detailed in our genetical information. The color of our eyes, certain reactions to chemicals and the mixture of hormones we have in our bodies are all directed by the information encoded in our genes. Along with these comes our intellect. Thus our intelligence is stable and cannot be changed. We can only maximize or minimize our cognition and knowledge but our IQ level would remain constant. The condition with emotional intelligence is different though.
Emotions are developed only as we are exposed with specific stimuli triggered in our environment. These are not innate compositions of our bodies that would only sprout as needed. Our emotions are our reactions to things during our development. This is why babies during their birth have no concept of both positive and negative emotions. This is evident with children who are just starting to walk.
No one told them to walk yet something inside instructs them that it must be learned. And due to the absence of fear of falling, tripping or failing, they learn. If there were any inherent fears, it could have been impossible for him to even take his very first steps.
The point is emotions are part of our development. The present emotional intelligence that we have is the product of learning that we have encountered in the past. Incidentally, anyone can redirect their unwanted emotions into more useful ones in the same way as anyone can be taught of the proper ways to use their emotional intelligence.
Therefore, it is only crucial that emotional intelligence is taught, if possible at the very early age.
Teaching emotional intelligence would entail these five yardsticks as developed by psychologist and author, Daniel Goleman:
The first thing that must be taught is the ability to determine and identify one’s emotional states. Along with this must be the understanding of links between one’s actions, thoughts and emotions.
The second one is the development of proper management of emotions. This way, one will be able to control his or her emotions and to redirect undesirable emotions to more reasonable use.
Third is the training to take on the attitude of success and achievement while undergoing emotional states. Central to this is the positive state of thinking which in itself is very crucial in the development of one’s well being.
The ability to sense the line of one’s emotions must also be taught. In the process, the person will know how to be sensitive of another person’s emotions.
The fifth yardstick is a person’s capacity to enter and sustain a harmonious relationship with people he interacts with.
Once the person understands this, it would be easier to teach emotional intelligence.